Clanless Read online

  Through their cheers, Gryphon wondered how long they had waited for the chance to kill a Ram. For decades his clan had ruthlessly hunted the Raven in search of their grain stores. How many brothers and sons had fallen to Ram spears over the years? The number had to be staggering.

  Gryphon dropped his hands to his side. “I’m telling you the truth. You need to evacuate the Nest.” Gryphon knew at once that his words wouldn’t be enough.

  “It’s time to run, little lamb.”

  Raven bows stretch back into firing position. A smile plastered the leader’s face. His sneer hardened like a promise. “Your blood will not be enough to satisfy the crimes your clan has committed against my people. But it’s a start.” He smacked Gryphon on the back twice. “We’ll give you a five second lead. Ready, go.”

  Gryphon stayed rooted in place.

  “One. Two.”

  He closed his eyes. The faces of the people he cared for most flashed through his mind. Joshua, Zo, Ajax, his mother, little Tess …

  “Three. Four.”

  He tensed every muscle in his body to prepare for death.

  Then a man tore through the line of Raven and into the meadow, gasping for breath before shouting, “Stop!”

  Gryphon turned to see Gabe and nearly collapsed in relief. How had he escaped the Ram? How had he found him? His shirt was ripped, a bloody bandage tied around his arm.

  “Put down your weapons.” Gabe stripped his pack and pulled his shirt over his head to show the mark of the waxing moon on his upper back. “I represent Commander Laden and the Allies.” Gabe bent in half with palms resting on knees drawing air into his rasping lungs.

  Bows stayed trained on Gryphon’s chest as men looked to their leader for orders.

  “Is that you, Wolf?” The Raven leader walked up and attacked Gabe with a giant hug. “I thought you were captured.”

  “I was.” He clapped Gryphon on the back. “But this Ram helped me and a host of Nameless escape the Gate. Did he tell you about the invasion?”

  The energy in the air shifted as Gabe’s words registered on the faces of the Raven, melting their former reverie like wax from a dripping candle. Even though he’d just narrowly avoided execution, Gryphon felt bad for these men. “I’ve disabled the pulley system to the only exit of Ram’s Gate. It will buy us some time to evacuate your people, but we don’t have long.”

  Gabe nodded. “You must take us to your chief and let us convince him to flee to the Allied Camp. It’s the only place your families will be safe.”

  The Raven leader shook his head, pointing a finger at Gryphon. “If I take this man into the Nest, he will never be allowed to leave.”

  “Your clan secrets are the least of your worries, my friend,” said Gabe.

  The Raven leader turned to Gryphon. “No Ram has ever been welcome in the Nest. I cannot guarantee your safety.”

  Gryphon swallowed, thinking of the promise he made to Zo to warn the Raven. If he left now, was that promise fulfilled? How could he ever face her again if he didn’t see this through?

  He picked up the abandoned pack and hefted it onto his back. It likely belonged to one of the Raven, but he figured he’d earned it. “Lead on.”

  The next day, Joshua still didn’t wake, even while the sound of marching Ram soldiers echoed in the distance. Zo had hoped the gate would have taken longer than a day and a half to repair. But it seemed Barnabas didn’t intend to let Gryphon’s heroics alter his plans.

  When she lived as a spy and Nameless slave inside the Gate, she sent stoppered bottles filled with information about Ram numbers, supplies, and troop movements down a river that ran under the enormous city wall to a group of Allied men. Gryphon and his mess captured one of the Raven working with the Allies and interrogators broke him for information about the location of the Raven Nest—a secret that had been preserved for centuries, despite the Ram’s best efforts to find it.

  Zo hoped Gabe managed to warn the Raven in time.

  Eva sat with her back toward the others, hugging her legs to her chest. She refused to eat and only drank when Zo insisted she do so.

  Zo knew the Ram girl was desperate to track the Nameless. Eva had lost everything: her family, her clan, even the father of her growing child. But what could they do other than wait? Overwhelmed by her own grief, Zo struggled to find compassion for the other girl. She put a hand to her aching head and fought another wave of nausea brought on by vertigo.

  Tess frowned. “You still haven’t recovered from the healing? Have you tried—”

  “I’ve never been any good at healing myself, bug. Don’t worry about it. I’m sure I’ll be fine by tomorrow morning.”

  “Maybe I could try—”

  “I said, don’t worry about it.” Zo didn’t mean to snap. This wasn’t Tess’ fault.

  Eva didn’t turn around, but in an uncharacteristically small voice said, “Gryphon was a good man. I mourn his passing too.”

  Zo pressed her hands into the sides of her head and tried to make the world stop spinning.

  Please don’t talk about him!

  How was she ever going to get Joshua, Eva, Tess, and a host of Nameless refugees to the Allies if she couldn’t even lean up against a tree without her vision spinning? She couldn’t save them and mourn for Gryphon and kick this illness all at once. Especially not while Gabe’s confusing kiss still lingered on her lips. How could she continue to be strong for others while she was becoming weaker all the time?

  That night, when everyone else slept, Zo pulled the cold night air into her lungs and let the smell of pine and lemongrass sooth her aching head. She took in another breath, and as she released it, resolved to put the pain of losing Gryphon away. Eventually she would mourn his death and face the guilt she felt for getting him involved. Until then, she would cage her feelings in a dark corner of her mind. If they spilled over, she’d fight to push them back.

  It took most of the night grappling with herself until she secured the vault of her heart and all thoughts of Gryphon were thoroughly laid to rest in the back of her mind for a time when she had the luxury to grieve.

  The task before her was different from her mission inside Ram’s Gate. No one—not even she—had expected her to survive her time working as a spy for the Allies. The consequences of her failure then would have ultimately only affected herself. If she didn’t find a way to control her grief and kick this sickness soon, hundreds of innocent people, including her own sister, would pay the price.

  She massaged her fingers into the muscles at the base of her skull with all her force, pushing Gryphon and the truth of his fate away.

  Chapter 4

  Staring down an entire flock of Raven scared Gryphon less than learning what had become of Zo and the others. He was fairly certain that Ajax spared Zo’s life, but what if Zander sent someone to verify he’d done the job? What if she was really gone? He kept looking over to Gabe, waiting for the right opportunity to ask, terrified by what his new friend might tell him.

  They kept a fast pace, trotting with the Raven surrounding them on all sides. It turned out that Gabe and several of the feathered warriors were old friends. Gabe asked after their families and exchanged light banter, although the tension on the faces of the men was thick as clay.

  The Raven avoided Gryphon, almost pretending he wasn’t there. He couldn’t blame them. The Ram had targeted their people ever since the Kodiak clan had been raided. For years his people sent mess units, his included, on excursions to discover Raven food stores. Raven warriors were cunning and deadly. They swooped in like a birds of prey and attacked from the trees with their arrows only to disappear again. Despite their agility, many “birds” had fallen to Ram spears over the years, and men don’t easily forget a lost brother.

  Gryphon, Gabe, and their Raven escort jogged up a steep climb along the edge of the cliffs that dropped into the frothy ocean below. Pine trees and rocks bore a carpet of lichen and the brine of the sea burned the
inside of Gryphon’s nose as he pulled air into his lungs.

  The trail narrowed, forcing him and Gabe to walk side by side. If he didn’t take this opportunity to ask Gabe about Zo and the others, he was a coward.

  “Tell me.”

  Gabe would know what he wanted. The two had come a long way from being enemies to find friendship. Their connection through it all had been their common interest—they both cared for Zo and would do anything to keep her safe.

  Gabe frowned and met Gryphon’s gaze for a brief moment before looking ahead at the rocky trail. “Are you asking about Joshua, or about her?”

  “Is there a difference?” snorted Gryphon, ready to punch Gabe in the face.

  Gabe scowled. “Just because you went against your nature and spared her doesn’t mean she was ever yours to protect. She was my responsibility. Mine.”

  Was?

  His throat tightened into knots. No no no no no …

  “Joshua was still asleep when I left them, but Tess said his heart sounded fine and his breathing was normal. I set them up with plenty of provisions. With Eva’s help, they’ll have an easy time tracking the Nameless once the boy is awake.”

  Yes, if they survive the wilderness and the wild men that inhabit the mountain.

  The trail ended at the foot of a rock wall that soared at least thirty feet above the ground. Gryphon wasn’t surprised when the Raven began to scale the rock. They reached for hand and footholds with the ease of a child climbing a generous tree.

  “What about … ” Gryphon couldn’t even utter her name. He clamped his mouth shut and fought the paralyzing tightness in his throat. He and Gabe were the last to start the climb. Gryphon felt his body go through the motions of gripping the rock with hands and feet as he pushed with his legs and pulled with his arms to scale the rock. Gabe kept pace next to him.

  Clinging to the wall, fifteen feet in the air, Gabe stopped climbing. The corners of his mouth drooped. He stared straight ahead at the rock, as if ashamed. “I’m sorry.” A pause. “It never would have worked between you and Zo. You would have always reminded her of the soldiers who raided her home and killed her parents.” The muscles in Gabe’s neck flexed.

  Gryphon’s arms shook from supporting his weight.

  The thin hope that Zo was still alive snapped. Reality hit Gryphon like a blow to the stomach. Ajax had actually followed orders and killed her. He likely hadn’t had a choice. Gryphon tried to swallow, but he couldn’t force down the lump in his throat. His eyes clouded, distorting his vision as he reached for the next handhold. He blinked away a tear that leaked down the corner of his face, and searched blindly for a grip. His fingers slipped and he fell.

  His body relaxed in the air, accepting the impact of the ground against his back like a gift. His head smacked against the rock with a hard thump. He gasped and sputtered, blind and foolish, like an infant learning how to draw breath in the wind.

  Gone. How could she be gone? The cold fact didn’t fit within the structure of his reasoning. It cut a fissure into the crust of his consciousness. Gryphon buried his fists into his eyes and yelled at nothing and everything. He rolled onto his side, pushing away an offered hand and ran at the trunk of the nearest tree. His chest and shoulder connected with the tree first. His arms wrapped around the trunk, his feet dug trenches into the ground as he pushed and pushed against the thick wood. Rough bark bit into his skin. No matter how hard he pumped his legs, no matter how hard he tried to rid himself of the truth, the tree wouldn’t budge. Not even an inch.

  That was the cruelty of life. No matter his efforts, he couldn’t make the wind blow a different direction or the waves stand still or the mountains part. So many of his problems could be solved with a little more force, an extra training session, or sheer strength of will. But Gryphon couldn’t control this, couldn’t fight it away, not even with all his substantial strength.

  He collapsed on the ground, grabbed two fistfuls of hair, and wept like a child with Gabe at his side and the Raven warriors watching in confused, silent awe.

  Zo was dead. Nothing but his grief mattered.

  When morning finally came, Joshua opened his eyes for the first time in days.

  “He’s awake! He’s awake!” said Tess. She knelt next to him, bobbing up and down on her knees like a bumblebee tethered to the ground.

  Joshua groaned and pushed up to rest on his elbows. “What happened? Where am I?” His wiry chest was bare. The scar on his abdomen was still crusted over, but the skin around the wound bragged a healthy peach hue. “Where are Gryphon and Gabe?” He looked at Eva then over to Zo. “What is Eva doing here?”

  Zo and Tess didn’t bother answering any of his questions before wrapping him into a hug. Tess openly wept, and Zo found herself jealous for the chance to express her relief without falling apart.

  She pressed her forehead into Joshua’s and held it there as she looked into his eyes. “I see you, Joshua.”

  “Umm.” Joshua grinned. “I see you too. Quite well, actually.”

  Tess rolled around in a fit of giggles.

  “What am I missing?” said Joshua.

  Zo pulled away and tapped the end of the boy’s nose with the tip of her finger. “Sorry. It’s an old Wolf custom. Eyes are the windows to the soul. I was greeting your inner light. Acknowledging your spirit.” Zo shook her head and smiled. “It has been so long since I’ve been able to be a Wolf. I couldn’t help myself.”

  Thirteen-year-old Joshua fingered the two-inch scar on his stomach and a violent shiver rolled over his skin. “All I remember was fighting you in the ring, Zo. I didn’t know how to protect you.” He paused and swallowed a lump in his throat causing his Adam’s apple to jump. He’d stabbed himself in the stomach to save her life, a rash decision made because only one person could leave the ring alive. “Why didn’t I die?” He reached out and held Zo’s hand. “How did you save me?”

  Zo didn’t really understand everything herself. After Joshua tried to take his own life in the ring, Zo had been desperate to use her skills as a healer to save him. In the healing blessing, heat like fire formed beneath her hands and rolled up her arms and into her chest. If someone hadn’t helped her sever the connection, she might have been consumed by the heat.

  For Joshua, Zo was willing to take the risk, but it had cost her something that went beyond simply feeling dizzy all of the time. The muted energy she relied on to heal others didn’t seem to hum beneath her skin as it once had. She’d never realized the energy was there until, after healing Joshua, the heat was gone—leaving only emptiness behind.

  Zo held Joshua’s hand as she explained their flight out of the Gate. She pushed away the image of Gabe half-carrying Joshua while Gryphon stayed behind to disable the Gate’s pulley system. She’d trusted Gryphon completely—he didn’t know how to fail. It had made Zo feel invincible knowing Gryphon was on their side.

  Zo cut off the train of thought before it grew into something she couldn’t control. She told Joshua about the hundreds of Nameless refugees that now roamed the dangerous hills without resources and without a guide to the only place they would find safe refuge—the Allied Camp.

  “So Gryphon and Gabe are off to warn the Raven?” said Joshua.

  Eva said, “Actually—”

  “Yes,” Zo cut in, ignoring Eva’s stern expression. Gryphon was Joshua’s mentor and the closest thing he had to family. She couldn’t bear to watch him suffer, not after everything he’d endured. They’d tell him the truth eventually, but not yet.

  “I should be with them. They’ll need my help evacuating the Raven,” said Joshua. His voice frequently changed octaves despite his efforts to prove his Ram manhood.

  “I’m sure Gryphon,” she stuttered his name, “thought we’d need you here.”

  Joshua nodded, his pale skin a little too translucent for Zo’s liking. “You’re probably right.”

  Zo checked his pulse and listened to his heart. Her vision tilted to the right
and then the left, as if she were on a rocking ship. Meanwhile Eva began rolling blankets and securing packs. “What are you doing?” said Zo as she pinched the skin on the back of Joshua’s hand to check his hydration level.

  “The boy’s awake. We’ll be leaving soon,” said Eva.

  Joshua raised a hand in question. “Did she just call me a boy?”

  “He just woke up. He needs more time.” What Zo really meant was, I need more time. This tree was special. Under these boughs Gryphon had held her. Kissed her. It was her last connection to him and she didn’t want to give it up.

  Lock your heart, Zo.

  “I don’t need more time,” said Joshua. “I actually feel kind of amazing.”

  “You’re sure?”

  Joshua turned over and did a quick set of push-ups on his fists to illustrate his point. “I just hope you ladies can keep up.” His grin spread the length of his face.

  Joshua had endured so much. Zo needed to protect him from learning the truth about Gryphon. At least for a time.

  Eva shook her head in disappointment, and crawled out from under the tree with the others, leaving Zo with only her deception for company.

  Chapter 5

  Gryphon should have killed Zander before making his escape. Revenge demanded it. But his vengeance wouldn’t end there. Zo was so innocent, and so much better than Zander, that the old adage of a life for a life didn’t apply.

  Ajax. His brother. His best friend in this world. The man who’d helped him escape death. He needed to die as well for following Zander’s orders.

  How quickly adoration turned to hatred.

  As soon as he kept his promise to Zo and helped the Raven evacuate their hidden home, he’d track Zander and Ajax down. The hunter would become the hunted and justice would be served.

  Gryphon kept pace with the rest of the men, barely aware of his surroundings. He followed, but his desire to save these savages who hated him didn’t seem to mean as much without Zo. With her death, he realized something disappointing about himself: he was selfish.